Monday, January 22, 2024

Interview - Mamacadabra by Carrie Monroe O’Keefe #Memoir #BlendedFamily #StepParent


What inspired you to become an author?

I started writing in 2012 as a way of processing my new role as a stepmom and wife.  I looked for books to help me navigate and just couldn’t find anything that resonated with me.  I started blogging and the reception I got was amazing and, surprisingly, not just from other people in my particular situation.  I found the writing to be really therapeutic and I found the connections I was making through the blog to be so empowering.  At the time I’d been exploring MBA programs and I switched focus and instead applied to MFA programs.  I’ve wanted to write ever since.

Do you have a specific writing style?

I tend to write like I speak.  People who know me tell me they can hear my voice through my writing.  I write as though I’m talking with friends over a glass of wine, or coffee.

Do you write in different genres?

Yes, I self-published a middle grade book in 2019.  This is my first nonfiction book and I am looking at publishing my second nonfiction book this upcoming fall.  

If yes which is your favorite genre to write?

I think it depends what is going on in my life.  I wrote my middle grade book at a time that was particularly challenging personally.  I didn’t feel like writing about the hard things after spending a full day dealing with the hard things.  So during that time, middle grade was far more fun to write.  Right now I’m enjoying writing nonfiction but I know there is more fiction in me!  Just not this year, probably.

How did you come up with the title for your latest book?

It is the name of my blog.  I love the word abracadabra.  And I became an instant mom when I started dating my husband.  I came up with Mamacadabra with the idea that POOF!  I was suddenly this mom plopped into an existing family.

Do you title the book first or wait until after it’s complete?

I actually changed the name of the book last minute.  Originally, it was called The Year of What If.  In the book, I look at different parts of my life and try to reframe or change my perspective.  I was at a FedEx office on a random day, and when I was leaving I saw a book on their shelves that had a very similar title.  It felt too similar so I changed the title to align with my blog title.

Is there a message in your book that you want readers to grasp?

I think I was really trying to be this perfect mom, wife, and it was not going well for me.  What I did was try to reframe my thinking to help me feel better about myself and my situation.  I think if there is a message it’s that man – life is tricky and we’re all doing the best we can – and you’re probably doing way better than you think you are!

Is there a genre(s) that you’d like to write that you haven’t tackled yet?

Yes – I am a little obsessed with Christmas and I have many Christmas books in me.  They have been swimming in my brain for years and I just haven’t been in a place to put them to paper.  But let me assure you, Christmas books are in my future!

If this book is part of a series…what is the next book? Any details you can share?

Not a series per se, but I am working on my next nonfiction project which is once again about me, my family, and my friends.  I’m looking at how we view the idea of home.  Both in our own brains and bodies, and our physical surroundings and who we choose to spend our time with.  I am really excited about this project and hope people will be able to relate!

What book are you reading now?

I love the Her Royal Spyness series by Rhys Bowen.  They are fun books I can listen to and enjoy while driving or walking the dog.  I’m currently reading the most recent in the series “The Proof of the Pudding.” 

Is there anything you find particularly challenging in your writing?

For me the biggest challenge is sitting down to do it.  I have kids, a dog with lots of energy who needs long frequent walks, a husband with whom I like to spend time, a full-time job, we’re building a house, and frankly – even though writing feeds my soul and makes me better – sitting my ass down in the chair to do it is a struggle.  That said, I’m also better when busy, so even if I had no job and less responsibilities I’m not sure I’d find making the time any easier.

Who designed the cover of your latest book?

I am lucky to work with a book coach who just happens to also design covers!  Her name is Leah Kent and she is amazing.  I had a good idea of what I wanted for this cover and she made it come to life!

Do you have any advice for other writers?

I think it’s the same advice I try to give myself when I’m paralyzed by fear and/or not making the time to actually do the writing.  We have to just do it.  I know, I know, will anybody like the work?  Will they hate it?  Will they write scathing reviews?  Will I become a laughing stock?  Is my writing any good?  Listen – I don’t know the answers – but I do know that I need to be writing to feel like an active participant in the life I’m supposed to be living.  We have to just make the time and do it and not worry about the end result.  There will always be readers with whom our work will resonate and, even if it’s just a couple of people, isn’t that worth it?

When you’re not writing what do you do? Do you have any hobbies or guilty pleasures?

I love to box (I bought a boxing bag for my house during COVID – great stress reliever!), shop, run, and to go out to dinner with friends and drink wine.


Mamacadabra
Carrie Monroe O’Keefe

Genre: Nonfiction / Memoir / Parenting / Blended Family / Stepparent
Publisher: Mamacadabra Press
Date of Publication: 11/22/2023
ISBN: 978-1733629935
ASIN:  1733629939
Number of pages: 200
Cover Artist: Leah Kent

Tagline: Poof! You’re a mom now!

Book Description: 

Starting her third year of marriage, Carrie Monroe O'Keefe had already been on the roller coaster of extreme highs and lows of a newly blended family.  Thinking she could do a better job of navigating marriage, step-motherhood, working full time, and all of the things, she embarked on a year of "what if."

Settling into her role as wife and mom, she tried to find ways to do things better, see things differently, and reframe her thinking to create a better home for her family and to feel more at home herself. With humor, unwavering honesty, vulnerability, and sarcasm, Carrie finds her way through the year and to her true self.

Amazon     BN     Bookshop

 

 

Excerpt From Chapter: This House is Not a Home (Currently)
         
It’s a bright Saturday morning and I’m looking around my kitchen wondering when, exactly, I let it get THIS bad. The dishwasher has been run, but nobody has bothered to unload it, resulting in piles of dirty dishes in and around the sink. There are empty cereal boxes lined up, I assume, so I can cut out the Box Tops for Education labels…because I’m the only one who can what…use scissors? Break down the boxes for recycling? Throw away the empty bag inside the boxes that once held cereal?

Speaking of recycling, there’s a bag of recycling on a stool waiting to be taken out on our “next trip” out of the house. It’s been there for three days and we have, in fact, left the house several times in those three days.

The clincher, though, is the kitchen table. Our puppy has a best friend that lives next door. He comes over to our back deck door and barks for Sullivan to come out to play. They wrestle, run around, investigate, bark at each other, bark at passersby, lay down to rest, and then start over. When they’re out and I’m working or writing, I bring my laptop up to the kitchen table so I can check on the dogs from time to time.

At this very moment, I’m sitting at my kitchen table and surrounding my laptop are:
     
        One little girl’s black shoe.
        One little girl’s gold shoe.
        One little girl’s pink slipper.
        The Nancy Drew book we’re currently reading.
        Large bag of colored pencils.
        Pair of my husband’s dirty socks.
        Empty napkin holder on its side.
        The art project brought home by my littlest little girl.
        Pad of paper with my work notes scribbled on it.
        Three place mats (one was a casualty of yesterday’s juice fiasco).
        One black marker.
        Work documents of my husband’s.
        A partially completed drawing.
     
My kitchen table isn’t even big! How, or perhaps a better question is WHY, is there so much sh*t sitting on it?!! And does anybody else find it a teensy bit disconcerting that there are two shoes, a slipper, and dirty socks on the table at which we EAT OUR MEALS? Anyone???

If I told you about the kitchen counter, you’d have a nervous breakdown, which I’m on the verge of, but I’m trying to hold it together. Here’s the deal. We do not have the little girls this weekend, so we should be able to get everything organized, cleaned, and put away, but there’s more…

My husband is in school. He was in school last night and again this morning. Also, have I mentioned he has a small business on the side that he’s owned since he was 18 years old? After he bolts from school today, we’ll be frantically preparing for his trade show tomorrow. Any ‘free’ time otherwise used for sanity-saving-house-organization will instead be spent on trade-show-preparation-in-hopes-of-finding-new-clients. Ugh.
     
Our dog is even looking at me with disgust. Yeah…YOU’RE one to talk, Sullivan…I believe that pile of firewood on our back deck is YOUR doing. It looks like the frigging Blair Witch Project out there.

I take issue with a disastrous house for many reasons.

      A – When it’s disastrous as it is now, I feel totally out of sorts and stressed.
      B - It wouldn’t be like this if some people didn’t refuse to put dishes in the dishwasher, unload the dishwasher, hang-up their coats, put away their shoes, and so on, and so on, and so on.
      C - We don’t have the square footage to allow for unusable space…and as far as I’m concerned, this kitchen is NOT USABLE.
      D - It’s FREEZING outside which keeps us INSIDE this war zone of a house.
      E - I believe our home is supposed to feel safe, and cozy, and comfortable, and lovely, you know, as opposed to chaotic, dirty, cluttered, and filled to the brim with crap people haven’t put away.
     
Therefore, on a day I technically could have slept in, I’ve been up since 6:30 trying to get this house back in order. I’d rather be sleepy from a late night and an early morning than be CRAZY because the house is so awful. For me, sleepy is less dangerous than crazy.
     
Which brings me to the real question: is this my gig from now on? Husband in school, swamped at work, busy with small business, little girls here half the time, so while they’re willing and eager to do chores, it only happens every other weekend, leaving me to take this on and be sure this house is in fact a home and I AM in fact sane? No, seriously…REALLY?
     
Chalk this up to a question for which I did NOT want the answer.


About the Author:

Carrie Monroe O’Keefe started blogging about her life by sharing stories of marriage, stepmotherhood, and how to navigate it all on mamacadabra.com in 2012. People said they loved reading the posts, so she kept writing. In addition to blogging, she released her middle-grade fiction book, The Whole Truth, in 2019. 

Carrie lives outside of Minneapolis with her husband, two daughters, and dog Finlay. 











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